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Curmudgeon Pickled Hash A La Al Martin

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      Title: CURMUDGEON PICKLED HASH A LA AL MARTIN
 Categories: Appetizers, Pickles, Hot, Squid, Tofu
      Yield: 100 Servings
 
     50 lb Waller Waller Onions
    1/4 lb Pickling Spices
    1/4 lb Crushed Red Peppers
     10 ga Red Wine Vinegar Or Ripple
      5 lb Sugar
  2 1/2 ga Water Or More Ripple
    3/4 lb Salt
     25 lb Fresh Squidlets *
     25 lb Tofu Cut Into 1" Cubes **
      2 qt Tabascar Sauce
      8 lb Minced Garlic
      1 ds Secret Curmudgeon Sauce ***
 
  *   Squid should be at least bait quality if fresh squid are not
  available. **  Tofu should be freshly made to Al's personal
  specifications. *** Al's Secret Curmudgeon Sauce really contains 1
  Quart Sweat Sauce, 1 quart Nam Pla (Fish Sauce), 1 quart Wednesday's
  Frosties, 1 Gallon Justin Wilson's Dehydrator Barbecue Sauce and six
  dozen crushed Nieman Marcus $250.00 Cookies.
  ~------------------------------------------------------
  ~----------------- Remove skins from Walla Walla onions. Wash squid,
  remove skin and entrails, leaving tentacles. Carefully cube tofu into
  exact 1" cubes, cause Al is particular or is that peculiar anyway 1"
  cubes please. Set squid aside in the sun while preparing
  brine/pickling mixture.
  
  In a 55 gallon oak barrel place the red wine vinegar, water, salt,
  sugar, Tabasco sauce and Secret Curmudgeon Sauce; mix thoroughly. Add
  minced garlic (Al usually uses 16 pounds per batch), Pickling spice,
  crushed red pepper and stir until well mixed.
  
  Place the onions, squid and tofu into brine solution making sure
  everything is submerged.  If necessary place a manhole cover on top
  of everything to keep the ingredients submerged. Allow the process to
  continue as long as you possibly stand without sampling.  It should
  be ready just about picnic time.  That's all ther is to it Folks.
  Named after the Patron Curmudgeon Of The Cooking Echo Al Martin.
  
  Al Martin mistakenly left this recipe in the Tofu Cookbook he had
  borrowed from the Portland Public Library where it was on loan from
  the Escondido California Public Library.  Typed for your personal
  pleasure by Syd Bigger.
 
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